| Why does it always have to be like this?
I feel so distant from rest of the world. When I see people, I can't think of anything to say. My head begins to blank out. Then I hear myself telling me i'm a faggot. Then suddenly, people get this weirdo look on their face.
I can't feel happiness, but I smile. I can't feel sadness but I cry. I can't sense humour but I laugh when people want to be funny. I can only tell hatred, but i still don't feel it, you know what I mean?
I seem to analys myself a lot...everyone else is so easy to read..and understand why am I so freaking complicated.
I know so many people, so much about everything...and yet, i can't seem to help myself...but everyone else, I can help.
er....so I just dozed off for 14 minutes there....listening to myself yelling at my other self...defneding for me...?...what the.. so......
Music seems to stop singing in my head now..but storylines pops up. I need to write more story. Make them into MV. ..then it'll be beautiful story I made...haha....
I need a lot of money eh...when I make enough I'll pay off the house mortgage, and then just rent houses and work better wages jobs for a living, then aim for another house, then rent that one to another family...haha money, I need lots of those becuase it buys love.
But of course, I ain't ganna get myself any, love is shitty. First you have to trust, then you have to be trusted, then you have to trust that the other trust you, then you ahve to rely on each other. So much effort. mm...wait, no, that's everything to know about love, trust rely, and seek into the future.
But then if you seek into the future, and osmeone backs out on you, then you'll be screwed for life beucas eyour future is all build with the other person. yeah, I know but hten i was just talkinga bout what love is, not like...we have to love and stuff, you get what I mean?I suppose. So why are we arguing again?...Oh, becuase you like someone but you're too chicken to tell her. no, he stopped me becuase he doesnt' wanna get hurt. no I didn't, he is angry at the girl before she even did anything. I dont' know what to do now. I used to be able to stand any type of rejection, well, not really that's a lie.I think you're fat. No, well, kind of, how do you burn off these little flabs. I've been tryuing to get rid of them.You stop eating so late, nothing gets stored up at night , then everything's cool.I think i should concentrate on my music for now. right? Better go for popularity. Girls...will have to come to me for help if they need it..I can't always seek people ....
|
